Top comedians

Post your top comedian you have ever seen, and also your favourite joke they told.
Below are a few examples.

Tim Vine 'So I was at the gym and I said to the man I want to learn to do the splits, he said how flexible are you? I said well I can’t make Fridays!'

Stewart Francis 'And i was thinking to myself the other day why does a frisbee look bigger and bigger the closer it gets, and then it hit me!'