Global warming sends chill through bill

The title has relevance on this article i'm writing in an empty swimming pool.
Leaves are blowing around me, the wind seems to be whispering 80's popstars. As I play with six eggs and a swingball it seems slightly ironic that it was a Sunday!
We chuckled to ourselves as I sat there alone, then paused suddenly a loud voice Yelled 'Prince', the wind had picked up the washing on the line had formed a giant sheet man who looked liked he was pointing at the neighbours elephant.
'Thats not the point' she yelled at them, it was just me there alone when in the distance everything seemed further away than before the nightclub opened.
Screaming 'Dont leave' I was still alone, skateboard was upside down picturing how to flip it up and ride the street I continued to hop in order to blend in this hopping community with giant sheet men, now i couldn't look behind me as I could hear them getting closer, faster I hopped, closer they got till I stumbled fell into a river held my breath which was pointless as the river was only knee deep so I ran to the other side I could see giant sheet mans family I headed towards them but they were all pointing at the Elephant but I knew if I could make it then I would be safe just then I felt a hand on my shoulder I turned and to my horror it was in fact Prince singing about why I made his birds cry or something. Immunized by the horror I made a last sprint towards happy sheetsville I could see a big hole in the ground which was filled with chocolate it looked good I leaped, it looked like I was going to make it just about to hit the dark tastey pool when.....TBC

Smokers are stupid

Ahh the stupidity of this statement!
So in defence of his smoking my work colleague said to me 'well i read a story about an old lady who lived till 100 and she smoked every day so i might as well just smoke all the time'
Now I know there is not but there should be idiot police who come and suck these people off our planet with giant idiot vacuum cleaners (copyright this vacuum cleaner idea).
Ok for those of you who thought my colleague had a point, I read just last week in Ealing (London) there was a man who survived a car crash by the fact that he was not wearing his seat belt (not sure how but he did) so on this fact alone I now risk my life everyday and you people should jump on this ill-educated band wagon as well and not wear my seat belt on every journey, and in the immortal words of my colleague 'I might as well just not wear my seat belt all the time'

Am I Truman?

http://www.allbanta.com

Recently I have been thinking that the truman show is real and I am the star, small things have triggered this paranoid feeling but it seems awfully true, o yes my girlfriend has asked me to mention that blogger.com is the greatest friendliest blogger site in the world? Which is weird.
Gott a run as my mate has just turned up with a 6 pack.
Dont try to convince me that this isnt true or i will think the producer in the sky has just told you to do that